ends up on the street again. I've wondered about this in myself, how much I desire freedom, and then when I have it, well I have it now, I hooked up with a man again. Not that I can't be free and in a relationship, but after 35 some years of marriage, I don't know how to be with a partner and feel like my life is mine. It seems like my life is ours, or rather it is our life. I don't think my current man feels this way and perhaps I've being around more carefree people that up and go when they want. Not attached. It's Buddhist, I guess, this none attachment. And even though I'm looking good, here where David took this picture, the broom in the background, the sunset warming my skin, I'm not a spring chicken. The 35 years of marriage (2 marriages) should clue you in.But what I mean to say here is, freedom is in the head. And the heart. And my heart still wants to the comfort of home and knowing what to expect. To get up in the morning to some routine, to have my mate there, to drink tea together, to shower together. To kiss goodbye and catch up again later. As a single person, it is the cat I stretch with in the morning, it is the coffee shop where I say my first hello and drink a cup of espresso, it is just my schedule (while he's gone) and then ours when he's here.
I've been thinking about this traveling thing for a long time. Now I'm old enough to do it. Well I did it when I was first married too, before having a child. Here I am at Warm Beach. David was teaching an elderhostel there and I came down for a couple of nights. We were walking out on the tidal flats, across from Cameno Island. It's very pretty, the Methodist Camp grounds with the horses and ponds and wildlife, lots of ducks and other birds, which David could tell you all about. He's an ornithologist, me--I'm a writer and artist. I meld with the environ and others, that's how I get my stories. But freedom, huh, how to do it. I'd like to know. Any thought?
Traveling Nan
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